I love Salt Lake City. I remember being 14 and taking a carriage ride through Memory Grove Park. The air was cold but intriguing to me. I felt grown up taking this ride but scared to be in a place unfamiliar to me. I find it interesting how I have come back to my roots here in Salt Lake City. The city is now very familiar to me because of those young experiences I had! I know this is the place I am supposed to be. I have a lot to accomplish but I am confident I can do it all!
Now I have the unique opportunity to experience this park on a biweekly basis. I go running every Tuesday and Thursday at 5:45 am with a group of inspiring women. Not only do they push me to run harder, but they are great examples of how Daughters of God should act Spiritually. They have become great friends to me which is exciting because I have always craved relationships with uplifting women- something of which has been hard for me to find throughout my life.
This is also a big reason why I felt comfortable with Adam, because he comes from an equally amazing family. I miss my talks with his Mom in their kitchen. Those times spent talking with Vickie were never little or silly to me, she is so wise and I trust her intentions. I looked forward to hugs from Rachel and I fed off of her spunky spirit. Madeline is the soft one who is fun, kind and who pushes herself to do better in sports. So jealous of her tan! ;) And Liz, who is a beautiful woman and young mother. How does she have like 5 callings, a husband, house and 2 kids? She never ceases to amaze me with her quiet strength. And last, but not least for sure, is Hannah. Honestly her approval means a lot to me which is quite silly considering she is only 17 and has a lot of life to experience. I think I want her approval because she is honest and completely fearless- something I am not just yet. I admire her. She can walk out of the house without any makeup and KNOW she is beautiful because she is! They were all so kind to me and I believe I will never find a better future family- in fact I refuse to. I looked forward to spending time with his family each time we made plans to. Sorry for this tangent... What I was trying to say was that I seek sincere relationships. I am extremely grateful when I find them like I did with Adam's family.
Mostly I find my biggest running competitor is myself. I know that I can do anything with this healthy body which God has given to me. I honor him by taking care of it. Every time I run my motivators are the same- Heavenly Father, Adam, and myself. Nothing else comes into my mind during this peaceful but beautiful struggle inside. Outside when I look around, I feel a wave like sensation of the Spirit hitting me, testifying of the beautiful things which God has created for me. I drink in the beauty of the Earth and it fills me. I have legs which carry me to my destination, a destination I never thought possible before. But that is what I am capable of- carrying myself to many destinations which I never thought possible. It is made possible first because of the belief. Second, I have people who believe in me. Third, I will not let God or myself down because I know I am capable of much growth.
Confidence has been an element which I have let take hold of me and something I have been growing upon. I am in a church co-ed softball league. Last night I practiced my swing and didn't miss the ball once (with good throws from the pitcher)! In reflection, yes I developed a better, more precise swing but the one thing that I held on to was confidence. I knew I could hit the ball, so I did!
Much like my runs, I have confidence I can make it to my destination safely, so I do. But I am not concerned much about my destination or when I get there. I enjoy my time spent feeling my feet hit the pavement beneath me, because I have feet. I have eyes which work properly without help from glasses or contacts so that I may see the beautiful greenery around me and the tall Capital building which awaits me on the downhill. I have ears so that I can hear the singing creek as it steadily races against me. I am proud of who I am, what I am experiencing and who I am becoming because of those experiences. I wouldn't change anything except having Adam with me through all of this (if that were possible but it's not).
I run. I run for a lot of reasons. I felt like running would be a good outlet to escape from my problems but in reality it has brought me closer to a lot of things, good and bad. I am learning how to sort through my conflicts and my deepest desires. In fact, running has actually brought me closer to the two people who matter the most to me. So for that I say, thank you Heavenly Father for the run.
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