Romancing Amy

"I love you for the reasons people stay together."

True romance is not lust, it is a commitment of intent.

Sometimes I think to myself that I am in a great love affair with Adam. I have purposely put myself in a vulnerable position and the reality remains that he could be gone tomorrow. But I have trust in him and my future with him. This is because I have something which feels tangible to which I rely on. It is the knowledge that every decision prior to Adam I have made has led me to him. This is easy to say now that we are together, but let me explain my story.

I was at a crossroads August 31, 2009. I had an awakening. By September 1, I was fully alive, and ready to start my new path. That was the day I started being brave. I drove from Kentucky to Idaho with my little companion pup, Lexington. Gosh I miss her. She was the only living thing who fully knew my situation. In the end, I gave her to a better home, parents who could take care of her better than I could in my new situation. I arrived in Idaho and packed my HHR full of everything that was important to me- photos and journals mostly. I knew where I was headed, where I was meant to be, and that was in Salt Lake City. It was never a question of where I would go after I graduated from BYU-Idaho, SLC was the place I needed to be. I knew I was being prepared for something great.

I struggled to find myself and make my way in SLC. Like I said, this was the time I started being brave. I did things which challenged my every way of thinking. I joined Roller Derby! Ever strap on rusty roller skates without any padding or helmet and skate down a seriously wicked hill? I have. And I was terrified the whole way down... until I arrived at the bottom! I was overjoyed that I pushed myself to the point of discomfort. I learned one thing from a guy I dated during this time. Yes, just one and that's probably why it didn't last. I learned how to turn fear into pure excitement. It's all about my attitude. I choose what state of mind I saturate myself with.

This is not a story about perfectionism, because I can't produce those kinds of results. I can only be myself, pure and true Amy! And that's the way I like myself, polished so you can see everything including but not limited to, the pretty imperfections. I don't believe perfection is beautiful because I believe that limits our perception about the possibilities of impurities being the truly beautiful elements. Now overcoming those imperfections and turning them into strengths- WOWIE! that is a real page turner to me.

This is not a story about my past, this is a story about my life when I started really living. I found my Mr. Prince Charming. His name is Adam and he is very real.